Mark’s Story
My story began over 24 years ago when my youngest son was born. At birth his lungs collapsed and he spent several days in the NICU. I was so angry at God for allowing it to happen. I asked a friend what I should do with the anger and pain I was feeling. He encouraged me to reach out to God for help, asking Him to carry me through this time rather than directing my anger at Him. During that time that I was baptized, but it was on my terms: “If my son gets well, I’ll get baptized.”
Over the years I started backsliding. In 2007 events at my job sent me into a very angry depression. As a result I was banned from my workplace’s property because of my behavior. This lasted for around seven months, at the end of which I remember sitting on my bed looking at my gun, seriously considering ending my life. Thanks to God I didn’t, and He eventually brought me out of the depression and I was allowed to return to work.
Things were going pretty well until 2009, when I had a knee replacement that didn't go well. I was out of work for 13 months with two further surgeries on my knee to remove excess scar tissue. Finally I was able to return to work but was still in pain to a certain degree.
The pity party started to set in. One day my brother asked my wife and I to go out for a drink. It was supposed to be only one beer, but I ended up drinking four caffeinated alcoholic drinks, which got me very drunk. While I was in that state I saw a man who I knew had been arrested on charges of molesting a child, and I saw red. I tried to get at him with the intention of killing him. My brother and my wife eventually managed to get me home, where my youngest son had to help me into the house.
The next day I felt so ashamed. I knew I had let God, my family and myself down. I had been attending Compassion Christian Church, had joined some ministries and had my Christian facade up, but I wasn’t living for God.
A week later God spoke to me in a dream. It was as clear as two people talking. He told me that it was time to put the shame aside and start again. He instructed me to fast for three days and then start afresh. He put several things in my life to strengthen me in my faith. Being part of Men's Ministry at Compassion Christian Church is one of them, and I am so grateful for the support and encouragement I get from the men there.
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